Second Chances are Okay, but What About Third or Fourths?

Hey guys, I'm so glad you enjoyed reading my last post (and if you didn't read it, you can click here to catch up)! I love when you guys are so responsive with posts that are personal to me and my life. It makes me feel all warm and tingly inside, like you wouldn't imagine how much it makes my day.

It's so funny, because after writing that post I continued to think about the topic, and knew that I was going to come back to this topic somewhat soon. I wondered, just because I think it's okay to give someone a second chance, well as long as it meets certain circumstances, does that mean I feel the same way about third or fourth chances?

A lot of you actually gave me your opinion on giving someone more than a second chance, and I loved reading every single response. I decided that since you guys continued the discussion last week, and were so interested in the topic, I would write this post much sooner than I had anticipated.

Now, if you read last week's post, you already know my opinion on second chances, but now what about giving someone more than one chance? How about 2 or 3 more chances? What about 5 or more? At what point is one more chance too much?

One of my readers actually told me about an experience with a friend where she ended up giving her over 10 chances. Eventually she had to let this person go, because this person wasn't changing!

I think there are exceptions to what I'm about to say, but for the most part, most people should not make the same mistake more than once. I think someone should learn from their mistakes, and if you have to give someone that many chances, especially after talking it over with them, then they're never going to change.

I don't really want to use the word never, because anything is possible. They could change right after you stop being friends with them, but for the most part, this has been my rule of thumb.

Of course, I have given people more than one chance, I have given some people dozens of chances. Over the years, I've just realized to put myself and my happiness first, and learn that letting go of certain people will do me more good than keeping them around.

I like to believe that people are able to change, if they work on themselves, and really want to change. That's the thing though, isn't it? People will only change if they really want to change. You can't force someone to change. They have to want to change.

But, just because I believe people can change, I don't think I have to suffer and go through an unhealthy cycle in hopes that they will change.

I think it takes a certain type of person to forgive. Some people believe that by forgiving someone you are weak. I don’t think you’re weak for giving someone a second chance. Quite the contrary, it takes quite a strong person to genuinely forgive someone and move on from whatever that had done to you.

There is a difference though, between forgiving someone once, and forgiving someone more times than they deserve.  I think it’s okay to forgive someone and give them another chance. That person can have a chance to redeem themselves, and improve as a person. I don’t think it’s okay to forgive someone multiple times for the same “crime”. That’s just an endless cycle of pain for you.

What are your thoughts on this? I'd really like to hear them in the comments below! Thank you so much for reading and commenting. I hope you have an amazing night/day. Sending you love, strength, and positivity!

-Melina xx