friend breakups...but nothing happened?

I've had some thoughts about something I've been going through recently. Well, maybe it hasn't been so recently? I've been feeling this way for about a year now. Across my life, I've had a lot of breakups. Both friend breakups and relationship breakups.

And honestly?

They suck regardless. And while they both suck, everyone always talks about the difficulty of going through a breakup with a boyfriend or girlfriend. For some reason friend breakups always end up in the back burner of conversations.

No one talks about how much they hurt. Or how long it can take to get over. Not only that, but the linger feelings they always leave behind. Remembering all the memories that include them, only to be left feeling sad all over again (and then with time looking back at those memories with fondness).

I joined a friend group in my late 20s. They always made me feel great. I never felt judged, and always felt like I belonged. They were fun and never had any drama amongst themselves. My anxiety didn't feel as extreme when I hung out with them. We were pretty close, and were getting closer and closer over the past few years.

I don't know exactly when it happened, but I started seeing that group hang out consistently on social media...without me? I knew they did that occasionally because they were all friends together before I ever joined the group. They were always close knit, so that didn't really bother me. Then I wasn't invited to one of their bigger events that I was usually invited to, and I remember feeling so hurt. I remember going back and thinking of everything that had happened in those few months. Making sure I didn't do anything wrong, and wondering why I wouldn't be invited. By the end of it, I came up with no reasoning, and was just confused and hurt. I had been invited to that event for years.

Since that moment, it's been difficult.

I have tried reaching out, and while they seem to want to make plans when I invite them out, they no longer reach out to me and invite me out places themselves. I have not ever been invited to another group hangout.

Most of my close friends have told me to just move on, because they're obviously not being good friends to me, but I can't help but still feel hurt about the whole thing. I feel like I was kicked out of a club without knowing why.

And it sucks. These were people I was getting pretty close to, and looked forward to hanging out with them. I genuinely liked them all a lot. I have years of memories with all of them.

Every time I think I'm going to give up on them, and just move on from the situation, I get hit with this urge to reach out to them and try again. Maybe this time will be different. Maybe they won't flake last minute. Maybe this is all a misunderstanding.

At this point though, almost a year of being "kicked out of the club", it's hard to confuse this all as a misunderstanding. I'm still hurt and disappointed by the whole thing, and unfortunately there's not much I can do about it at this point. I'm just learning to move on, which is easier said than done, and appreciating the friends who do want to hang out and spend time with me.

Have you ever had a friend breakup?