how i'm feeling months after the breakup.

At the end of every relationship, regardless of who ended the relationship, I like to take some time for myself. A period of self reflection.

I take the time to think about aspects of that relationship. What I liked about that partner, and what I didn't. What I need in my next relationship for it to work out. What I learned about myself. What I need to work on personally. The list goes on.

I never know how long these periods are going to take. Sometimes after a month I feel ready to step back into the dating pool, while most of the time it takes much longer.

I used to be extremely excited (yet slightly anxious), about finding the next person who can potentially be my perfect match. As the years have gone one, I have not only been more comfortable with myself, but I have learned to love myself. While it took me a while, I realized that I don't need someone to make me happy. Dating someone is not going to make me "whole". I was whole all on my own.

Because of the mentality change, I have been...almost selfish with my time. Time is a thing that is precious to me. If I don't want to go out, I don't force myself to do so. I do what I want, without caving to peer pressure. It's a thing that I have come to love about being single.

While I have found myself ready to date for a while now, I have put little to no effort in dating anyone. Not only have I found that when I'm not looking for anyone, does my next potential match pop up, but I'm still focusing on me.

I'm not saying that I wouldn't like to find someone. Cause I would. I just realized, that when it's meant to be, it will be. It's okay to enjoy the time I have with myself, and not be constantly searching for my next "perfect match".

I don't know when that part of my life is going to change. When is the last time I'm going to be single? It's probably something most people don't think about, but it's true. If you find your perfect match (and I do mean the person you're supposed to spend the rest of your life with, because "complete"), you will never be single again.

There are certain parts of your life that just change when you seriously date someone, and not in a bad way, just in a different way. So for now, I'm just going to enjoy living for me and only me. And for now? I'm okay with that.

-melina xxx