i am my own worst critic.
I can stare at a photo that was just taken of me, and can instantly tell you at least three things I don't like about myself in the photo. I am my own worst critic.
I don't know if I was always this way...actually I know for a fact that I wasn't. I used to hate having my photo taken. I thought it was silly to take a picture of you staging a smile, with whatever outfit you have on, in whatever location you were in.
I felt like it was a waste of time. Like it was fake. Even if I genuinely was having a good time, I didn't feel the need to pause and take a photo.
That changed when I was in 7th (don't take my word for it, might have been 6th grade) grade. I had gotten my first point and shoot camera. It was from Casio and I loved it. It was super thin and at the time took really amazing photos. I brought that camera with me everywhere.
I would shoot anything no matter how important or unimportant it was. I wasn't particularly picky about what I shot, and I wasn't overly harsh on myself.
I think that all changed when I started getting self-conscious about certain parts of my body. While, I was never one to compare myself to the girls in the magazines or on TV, I still definitely struggled with self-esteem.
Now, a lot has changed since then. Since Instagram, gaining weight, and constantly having a camera with me (our phone cameras are so good right now), I've definitely been more harsh on how I look in photos.
There are probably a lot of factors that make me judge myself so harshly. Firstly, Photoshop and Face Tune exist. It's never been so easy to change whatever you don't like about yourself. It can take less than two minutes!
I've altered my looks in some way before, but I've been straying away from changing my appearance through apps. I just feel so...fake? Even though I don't do it anymore, I still feel the pressure to do it. There are all these "perfect" looking girls online, and you can't help but compare yourself to them.
I'm definitely not as thin as her. My nose isn't as cute. It's so easy to get into this cycle of bashing and comparing yourself, when in reality, those photos might not be real! Even though I know they're not real, and most people know they're not real, we still tend to compare ourselves to these figures...why?
It's definitely still a struggle. I've been straying away from Instagram, and I honestly feel...freer? Lighter even. It's a strange feeling, but one I've happily accepted.
Even though I've stayed away from Instagram quite a bit, I still am a terrible critic of myself.
It's no secret that I've gained weight in the last year. Significant enough that I've had to size up in pants (which honestly sucks). I hate the way clothes fit on me and the way I look in photos. It's frustrating. I can't help but compare myself to the past version of me!
I know that I've finally started to shed some weight, but not enough for me to see a difference yet. I know it's not going to happen overnight, but it's still extremely discouraging to see myself the way I am right now.
I don't understand how I can look at a photo of someone else, and notice all the good things about the photo. How flattering the clothes look on her/him, the beautiful location they're in, how beautiful/pretty/handsome they look. Yet, in regards to myself, it's the complete opposite.
Is there a way to free myself from this way of thinking? Can I just be happy with the way I currently look without comparing myself? I'm still trying to figure that out.
How do you guys deal with comparison? Is there a way you take photos and are happy with the way you look? Let me know!
As always, thank you for reading. Sending you love, strength, and positivity.
-Melina xxx
I can totally relate to how you used to feel about having photos taken. When I was younger I'd get so annoyed at all my friends taking photos at concerts, and watching the show through their phone cameras. They could just watch the show on YouTube 😅
It sucks seeing all these perfect photos everywhere that may or not be photoshopped. And it's hard not to compare ourselves. I judge my photos so hard, especially when they're of me. Like "why does my face look funny from that angle?" Or my clothes don't sit right, etc. But my friends and family tell me that I'm overthinking it so I've been trying to let it go.
Anyways, try to remember that you're beautiful inside & out!!
I think you're right. Most of it isn't true, and it's definitely just overthinking for sure.
Thanks you so much! It's definitely something I need to keep repeating to myself. Eventually it's bound to stick and i'll believe it!
For now, I'll fake it til I make it !
It's so hard not to overthink sometimes! I think we all do it.
haha yes that's a start. You can do it!
I can so relate to this as I'm the same - I'm definitely my own worst critic. Not just in terms of my looks but about pretty much everything! I often used to not do things in case I got it wrong/failed, although I am definitely getting better as I get older! And you definitely won't see me in many Instagram pics - I stay firmly behind the camera!
Kate xx | https://katelovestravel.net
I relate to this so much! I think you're so right, I have definitely gotten better as I gotten older, and I hope that's something I continue to improve on as I get older. Thanks so much for reading and your thoughtful comment! x
I find myself relating to everything you wrote here so, so much Melina. I also struggle with pictures and that's probably one of the reasons why I actually never posted my face on Instagram or on my blog or something ahah, it sounds silly, but I'm just ... I would definitely have exactly the same reaction you wrote here, I would overanalyze everything and.. it's so frustrating. It's so easy for me, too, to see others in pictures and find all the positives, while I'll focus on the negatives on my own pictures, too. We really are our own worst critics, unfortunately 🙁 I wish there was a way to stop feeling that way, I really do and for what it's worth, you're absolutely stunning, Melina x Sending you tons of love and hugs and positivity xx
I'm so glad that this post spoke to you! It's interesting because while I mainly spoke about how I'm a tough critic on myself physically, I also am on other things that I do, that has nothing to do with the way I look!
I think that with age, it does get better. I am better about certain things than I was a few years back. So I hope that this continues to change for the better. I hope you also become less hard on yourself as well, because you are honestly so lovely inside and out xx
I hope this continues to change for the better, too <3 Thank you, you're too sweet!! xx
I find over edited or over perfected photos quite off-putting. I like using beauty apps to get rid of dark circles and an overgrowing spot on my cheek, but if I stopped looking like myself completely, I'd find that strange. I use to compare myself to girls online all the time. Like wondering why my photos weren't good enough or why can't I look that glamorous etc.
But I guess my cure was to focus more on myself. I started looking at exactly why I don't like certain aspects of my apperance and where those thoughts stemmed from. The thing about health and fitness, it's an ongoing thing like waking up and taking a shower. There's going to be times where you gain weight or you don't eat as healthy, and other times where you're super into nutrition. It's totally normal. I think people in general have a tendancy to look back on the past with pretty sunglasses or rose tinted.
Bodies can change all the time but it's the mindset that's difficult to tweak. I would (I'm not a therapist in any way so take this with a pinch of salt lol) look back and figure out the exact moments you started to feel conscious about your body and honestly ask if your photos did resemble certain images, would that really make you feel better? I think and this is my struggle, once you criticise, no matter how much you edit, you'll find something else. xxx
You're totally right. About everything you mentioned in this comment actually.
It's weird when you look at a photo of someone, and they don't look like themselves anymore. It's almost strange? There is definitely a thing as too much editing. I wonder how those people feel when they look at that photo? Does it bother them, or is it all about the likes?
I've definitely been taking a step away from instagram, and just posting when and what I want to. I have put less thought into the algorithm because it wasn't the best for my mental health. I'm focusing more on myself, and being more productive overall by doing so.
When I was younger I didn't like how I looked. I wish I was skinnier than I was. I was still finding issues with my body. Now, I look at those photos and see that there was actually nothing wrong with me! Of course I still have insecurities about my current self, but I'm working through those.
I think you are right, I feel like even if I was this super fit person, and looked exactly the way I wanted to, I would still not be happy with myself. I would find something else I don't like. Thank you for reading and this super thoughtful commenting Laura xx
When I was in my early twenties - maybe actually 20, I became fixated on weight and measured myself daily. I lost about 2 stone and I remember feeling worse than I did before.
The Instagram algorithm is so annoying. I try to not overthink it either. I understand the platform Instagram gives to my blog and work, and I like connecting but I can't say I love using the app. I think there is a lot of fakeness on it. Both phyically and the way people interact.
I hope you keep working through your insecurities because I don't believe they are true. xx
Thank you so much Laura x
I do feel the same way when my feed is bombarded with all these pretty and perfect looking pics. I recently just started reading on self-help books and listen to podcasts to help me in raising my self-esteem. I take refuge in knowing that I am not alone that we all have our imperfections and that we should accept and love those. I hope you get the hang of it soon!
I completely agree! Reading self-help books, surrounding yourself by positive people, and listening to confidence boosting podcasts, make a huge difference in my mentality! It's a constant battle with myself, but when I do all the right things that make me feel good, it helps me feel better about myself overall.
You are definitely not alone. We all have things we don't like about ourselves, but it's always better to focus on the good we do like and have, and then focus on things we can change to make ourselves better than we currently are. Thank you so much for reading and commenting 🙂 xx
Melina, you are such a beauty, both inside and out! I can relate to a lot of what you're saying. Most people don't ever notice the things that we constantly worry and stress about and the world would be such a boring place if we were all perfect. No one is perfect and that's something that makes each of us unique and special. As far as Instagram goes, it's important to remember that most people choose to only share those best moments of their lives so we don't really get to see the whole picture. Just because someone's clothes fit perfectly doesn't necessarily mean that they're happy. In my experience, at least, it was once every other area in my life was in a great place, that I finally found confidence and started appreciating the things I once didn't like about myself. Life is too short to waste time hating and picking on yourself- although it is easier said that done, especially when it's a life-long habit. And as to the whole comparison thing, I think a lot of that goes away as you get older. There comes a point when you realize that you're just wasting your time thinking about and paying attention to someone else, their life or work, instead of nourishing and growing your own. There are so many beautiful things about you and I hope that you see that! 🙂
Paula | Thirteen Thoughts
Thank you so much for your beautiful comment and your words of wisdom! I completely agree with you. Life is too short to waste time picking on yourself, and it is way easier said than done, but it's something I continuously work towards. Being kind to ourselves is one of the most important things we can do. Like you said, it does get better as you get older. Maybe because you learn to appreciate all the things that you body has done for you throughout the years, maybe it's because of what you said. You realize that you're wasting your time thinking about the things that you don't like/don't have instead of focusing on the good you have now, and working towards better for the future. Thank you so so much Paula x
Similar to you Ive never had a trouble with how I look. Obviously there are a few things that Id change but at the end of the day, I LOVE how I look. Sometimes Ill see an unflattering image of myself and my heart will sink, but for the most part I don't have a problem with it. I think I have more of a problem with my brain and how my mind works..? If that makes any sense at all! I just feel like its so much harder to change your mind, especially when you suffer mental illnesses too! Loved this post Melina, you're gorgeous don't you worry. Sending lots of love! xx
http://zoe-ware.com
I'm so glad to hear that you enjoyed and related to my post. It means a lot when I write a personal post like this and get the great feedback. I love nothing more than knowing that other people enjoy reading, and even more so relate to what I'm saying. Thank you xx