I don't want to be "cute".
I read a blog post by Patterned Petals about her not considering herself to be "cute. As I was reading her post, I found myself agreeing with every word she said, and why, I also hated being called cute! I decided to make a post to add on my feelings to what she said in her post. I definitely recommend reading it, it's really entertaining and resonated with me!
Now for those of you who have not been called that adjective most of their lives, let me explain. Cute is what you call a puppy (honestly, dog of any age, size, breed), a baby, a child, etc.
I haven't been any of those things for a very long time now. Yet, I still get called cute ALL THE TIME. In what world, does anyone want to be compared to a child at the age of 24? I promise you they don't.
I'm going to go right out and say that there are actions/gestures that people, including myself, can do, that could be considered cute. In general, I would say that "thoughtful gestures" are cute. Someone making me breakfast in bed is cute. Someone who bought me my favorite candy (They're Sour Punch Straws if anyone's wonderful) is being cute. Like I said, thoughtful gestures.
I know when most people are saying it, they don't mean to make it come off negatively. The problem is the way most people say it is so condescending. "OMG, you're soooooo cute". I bet you knew exactly what tone this was said in too, as you read the sentence. Or maybe you didn't, because you have never been called cute? Trust me, you're lucky. I have heard it a thousand times too many.
There are a thousand words that I would love to be called, and cute just isn't one of them. Pretty. Beautiful, Stunning, Smart. Funny. Witty. The list honestly goes on and on. Please replace cute with any of the words above (and if you think of other better ones, you can add it to the list).
This used to happen to me a lot especially in high school. I was super short (well, technically I still am super short, with my less than five foot one stature), and people would say it to me in such a patronizing way.
Like I said, I know they don't actually mean to come off that way, but if you don't know me, please don't use that word!
My best friend, Jill, and I use that word to describe our outfits or how we look to each other all the time, and it doesn't bother me in the slightest. It's probably because I know she for sure doesn't mean anything negatively by it. Maybe also, because she's also part of the "cute club". She know exactly what it's like for me. It just doesn't bug me when she uses that word on me!
Now, unless you've been called cute all your lives, there's no way that you would know that it could bother someone. If it bothers you, definitely talk to the people you're closest to, and let them know how you feel about it. The same goes for the "cute calling offenders" (definitely made that up, but it flowed so well). If you realize you are calling someone cute all the time, maybe check in with them and see how they actually feel about that word?
Am I weird for feeling this way? Does anyone else have the same feelings as me? Please let me know in the comments below! As always, thank you for reading and commenting. Sending you love, strength, and positivity. Have a wonderful day/night!
-Melina xx
PS: yes, I did purposely only put up pictures of cute things.
Honestly I don't like being called "cute" either, I don't really know if it's condescending when people call me that, but it became so overly used, till it lost all it's meaning, and being called like that is just tasteless and meagninless sometime even "toxic".
I used to think that my self esteem maybe is so so low that it made me this way, but now I don't think its wrong wanting to be called beautiful, goergeous, smart... all except "cute".
Anyhow, am glad I'm not the I my one thinking this way too XD
I'm glad you can relate to my post! To be honest, I don't think I've been called cute in that condescending way in so long! I used to have that problem a lot when I was in high school. Thank you so much for reading and commenting 🙂 xx
I know exactly what you mean and how you feel. I came looking for guidance on what to do. My mom won't let me change my style. (I'm a junior in high school btw.) I have told my friends but they don't seem to care. No matter what I do, I get called cute. I can be mad or upset and they'd still call me cute. I honestly feel quite trapped amd I do not know what to do. Do you have any tips? No website I have found so far has known.
There are a few lil things I did. I did change my style a bit in high school, and I wore my makeup differently. I did mention to my friends how that word made me feel. I told them that I would prefer them to use another word if they were trying to give me a compliment. To be honest, the main thing I did was surround myself with people who made me feel good, and didn't really use this condescending word. As I got older, I think people realized that it's not a word to call a grown adult. I really hope it works out for you! I'm here if you ever want to chat 🙂 xx
I totally get you, I'm also super short (under 5 feet) so I always get told I'm cute and maybe that was nice when I was 6, but now that I'm almost 22 it's kind of annoying haha! Even though I know that people don't always intend it to come off that way. But I find that it also depends on who it's coming from, some people intend for it to be rude and you can just tell from the tone. Another word I tend to dislike in a similar way is being called sweetie or honey, but this also depends on who it's coming from and tone!
Well, before I rant on forever, thanks for sharing! This topic totally got me thinking! 🙂
I've never had the issue with sweetie (I think only elders call me that), or honey (mainly cause it's a blogger term of endearment!)
Urgh I thought I was the only one who felt this way! I'm always called cute since I was younger till now, I'm still called cute by everyone else. I use to get really annoyed by it but now, I'm kind of just like meh whatever.
You're definitely not the only one who feels that way, and according to the comments, there's a whole bunch of people who feel the same way I do! I realized now, because one of my readers, that it's not the word that bothers me so much, but the tone that the word is said to me in. I'm glad it doesn't really bother you anymore though! Thank you for reading and commenting 🙂 xx
I use to get so mad when people called me cute as well, (I am also short and the youngest in my family) but as I have gotten older, it no longer bothers me. For me it is more the tone and actions behind the words, then what is actually being said. <3
You're right, it's definitely the tone behind the word that bothers me more than the word itself! Thank you so much for reading and commenting 🙂 xx
I've been called cute before & I agree with you that cute is for animals & children & NOT adults.
I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels this way! Thanks for reading and commenting 🙂 xxx
I've never wanted to be called cute either. As a teenager, I couldn't be wait to be seen as an 'adult' and get called sexy or beautiful etc. I don't think this is weird at all. Thinking about it, the word is not even in my vocabulary unless it comes to my dog or babies lol. xx
While I was never called sexy/beautiful as a high school student, and while that bothered me a little, it really bothered me a lot when people were so condescending and called me cute in school.
It's actually really funny that you don't use the word much. and omg, you have a dog!? What kind??
He's a mix between a Yorkshire terrior and a poodle. It's hard to describe him - he's quite small and black with brown paws 🙂
omggg, fur babies are the bestt xx
I definitely get what you mean!
I personally like being called cute, but there are times when I think oh shoot I need to be called pretty and beautiful more than cute since I'm older now.
But honestly I do look like a kid and can look "cute" LOL
I'm fine with it BECAUSE I don't get called cute in a condescending way.
Luckily I'm not extroverted and I never go out so I don't run into rude girls who use cute in a rude way.
It's said as a way to make another girl feel like theyre not pretty enough to be called beautiful or pretty, JUST "cute" and nothing more.
If I did run into those girls who did that, I would not care.
In the end no one's words should mean a thing to you, especially if they're doing it to be condescending.
My bad I wrote like an essay oops lol
― Kiki
lmfaoo, I'm glad you had so much to say about this topic! I'm also glad to hear that you haven't really had a negative experience with the word! Thank you so much for reading and you're extremely thoughtful comment Kiki xxx