i lost 20lbs, and how I feel now.

So if you all remember, back during one of my workout updates, I said I was starting to intermittent fast. If you want to read up more on that, you can look it up on google or read a brief explanation I gave during my workout update.

Intermittent fasting mixed with switching out my birth control and some cardio exercising has lead to where I am today.

At my highest point I was 137.5lbs. That may not seem like much, but with my barely 5'1 height, it was a definitely noticeable difference.

While 20lbs is huge jump in weight, I actually didn't notice it until my clothes didn't fit anymore. At first I was stuffing myself in my clothes, and while it was uncomfortable, I thought as long as I fit into my clothes I was okay.

Then, a moment hit where I couldn't fit into my clothes. It was awful.

I have always been fairly small and petite, so to have a moment where nothing fit the way it was supposed to was honestly so terrible. I had to slowly rebuild my closet. Mainly, buying some new pants and bras. Not only was I spending a lot of money on new clothes, but at the same time, I was feeling awful the entire time. I was finally seeing how much my body had actually changed.

I used to walk into a clothing store and be able to buy something without trying it on. Around this time, I would choose a whole bunch of things, go into the dressing room, and realize that nothing fit the way I envisioned it. I realized the clothes that I loved wasn't really meant for my new body type. I would go through different sizes and they both all looked terrible.

I didn't understand how I got to this point. I was eating about the same I always ate, I was working out more than ever, and yet...I had gained all of this weight.

The only thing that had changed was my birth control. I talked to friends and family about it, and we all came to the conclusion that it might be having some effect on my body.

I went to talk to my doctor about it, and she quickly dismissed me. She said that I just needed more exercise. Nonetheless, I told her I wanted to switch back to my old birth control.

Around the same time I went back to the intermittent fasting.

I was pretty inconsistent with exercise. Some weeks I would exercise 3-4 times a week, but then there would be a week or two that I would skip the gym completely.

I was still surprised to see that I was slowly losing weight. After the first 10lbs, I felt immediately better.

It wasn't because my old clothes fit, because they didn't, it was because I was re-learning to feel comfortable in my body. I was learning to appreciate my new ass and boobs.

It was summer, and I didn't feel ugly in a bathing suit. I felt cute.

When I first started trying to get back to a healthier place, I originally said I wanted to get to 115lbs. The moment I lost 10lbs and started to feel better about myself, I realized that I didn't know if I wanted to have an actual goal weight anymore.

When I first started college, I was 97lbs, and looking back at those photos I looked super thin. Not thin in a healthy way, thin in a stressed, depressed way. At the time, I would get offended by people telling me I looked too skinny, because when I looked in the mirror, I didn't see that. Now, looking back on it all, I realized that what they were saying was coming from a place of concern. They were worried, and while they didn't really know what was going on in my head (I didn't get help for my anxiety/depression until years later), they were right.

I don't want to look at a scale and flaunt at being extremely skinny because of a number on a scale.

Now in present day, that while I didn't have a goal weight in mind, I just wanted to reach a point where I was completely content with myself. I knew I wanted to lose some of the unhealthy fat I had gained, and then from there work on exercising and becoming healthier.

On a day to day basis, I actually feel really good in my body. I still have some boobs, which I was actually super pleased about. I used to be so flat chested, even when I was around this weight. It's kind of funny to think about the idea that my weight has been redistributed around my body.

While my doctor doesn't think that the birth control had something to do with the weight gain, I do feel like it affected something, because the moment I switched it back to the old one I used to use, I started slowly losing weight without really trying much.

Whatever the real reason is, I'm super happy to be where I'm at right now. I'm excited to move forward and continue towards being the healthiest, best me I can be.

I do want to make a lil' note stating that this is my experience and my opinion on my weight loss journey. I am not a doctor, fitness trainer, or anything by that means. I just wanted to share with you guys what I've been going through the past few months.

As always, I hope you have a wonderful day/night. Sending you love, strength, and positivity.

-melina xxx