I'm picky about who I follow on social media.
Bloggers are supposed to support other bloggers. They're supposed to follow, like, and support in any other way necessary. When I first started blogging, I was the picture perfect blog supporter. I would follow everyone who followed me. I would retweet posts from other people. I would like every person's pictures on Instagram.
Then I read a tweet, I can't remember who wrote it, or even exactly how it was worded, but it said something along the lines of it being okay to be a little more particular about who I followed and didn't follow. I can be supportive of other bloggers without the need to follow every single person who follows me.
Finally, I gave the time to the bloggers I felt deserved it most. I allowed myself to be more selective about who I followed. It all made much more sense. I didn't know why I didn't start doing this sooner! There are three reasons I decided to follow this course of action.
I used to feel terrible for unfollowing anyone who made me feel stressed or anxious. I realized that I can't feel bad for unfollowing someone who makes me feel negative in way. Social media should be a positive experience for me, and so if, for whatever reason it's not, then I'll unfollow them.
To be clear, I'm not talking about those people who have a bad mental health day, I'm specifically talking about those people who are constantly in a fight with others, etc.
Another reason why I'm picky about who I follow is because of the fact that I don't want to be that person who follows-to-unfollow. I only follow people I genuinely want to see on my feeds, I don't want to follow people who I don't really relate to.
The third reason is kind of simple really. I don't want to follow people that I honestly don't really care about, only to have them spam my feeds, and I'll never see the people I ACTUALLY care about (yes, I'm talking about Instagram).
So I do support people. I get happy when they receive good news. I am still constantly following, reading, and commenting on people's blog posts, but I've definitely lost the follow-hungry. I just follow people I'm genuinely am interested in.
How do you decide on who to follow? Are you picky about who you follow on social media? Let me know in the comments below! As always, thanks for reading. Have a wonderful day/night. Sending you all love, strength, and positivity.
-Melina xxx
Amazing post! I am new to blogging community & found this so helpful. I appreciate the honesty & insight!
Welcome to the community! Once you find your circle it's an amazing place to be! Don't feel pressured to follow some of the things people tell you to do. Do what's right for you! If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to shoot me a comment/message/or dm on one of my social media pages 🙂 xx
This is so true. I actually have a regular clear out of my feeds every few months and unfollow people who aren't active or annoy me. I actually unfollowed someone on Twitter this morning because almost every 5th or 6th tweet was one from them or a tweet of their's being retweeted by a RTaccount. I liked their content but it was just getting ridiculous.
Now I don't follow as many people, I tend to follow RTaccounts which keeps me up to date. I actually bookmark my fave blogs to make them easier to find so I can read them before I read anything else.
Great post Mel!
Laura // http://thatgallowaygirl.com/
Thanks so much for the lovely comment! When I first wrote this, I was a bit nervous that this was going to get some negative feedback, but it seems that most people actually feel this way! They feel pressured to try to support everyone, and then eventually come to the conclusion that it's not realistic! You have a really good strategy with supporting people without being bombarded by loads of tweets you actually don't want to see! Thanks for reading and commenting xx
I loved this. I agree with everything you said. There's such a common dislike towards people who dont follow back. Tbh, ive never been personally offended when someone hasnt followed me back and neither should anyone else. Nobody owes nothing to anyone. Theres so much pressure to follow who follows you. Now I check to see if Ill actually enjoy their content and what they tweet and post. I enjoyed reading this, keep up the good work.
Thanks so much Caroline, I was a bit worried about the feedback I was going to get with this post, especially because twitter is such a "you should support everyone" sort of vibe. While I'm not going to shit on any blogger for doing their thing, I also won't follow, retweet, and read every single blogger's posts! It's actually impossible, so I just stick to following who I actually care about and supporting those people:) Thanks again for reading and giving me your thoughtful comment xx
Hey Melina,
I totally relate to this post! I actually have 2 different IG accounts, one where I mainly follow people I know in real life, and the other is for following brands and YouTubers and bloggers. I find that having this separation helps!
I don't think I'd be able to handle more than one Instagram account! It's already tough for me to post on my one account. I'm glad it works for you! Thanks for reading and including your input 🙂 xx
I totally relate to this! I am more fussy with who I follow as I don't see the point in following someone who I know I won't engage with. It's so much better to follow people that you relate to / can engage with as then it's proper support instead of a forced one. This post was great and I think more people need to realise this!
Exactly! I'm glad you can see things my way. I understand that it's important to discover new bloggers, but I don't think it's realistic or actually even smart to force people to follow everyone back. Thanks so much for reading and your thoughtful comment 🙂 x
I used to just follow everybody back too, but I've soon realised that I was left with a feed that I didn't really like. Even though everyone bangs on about supporting absolutely everybody, we're never going to love every single thing we see, and that's okay. Totally love this post, as it seems like not enough people talk about this!xx
Hannah | luxuryblush
That's exactly what I was left with. I was left with a feed that I didn't look forward to going through. I went through my first clean out back in December, and my feed is a much more pleasant place for me! I'm so glad you agree with me Han. Thanks for reading and commenting 🙂 xx
I'm sorry, I definitely did not mean to post as "Anonymous"!! WordPress didn't want to log me in for some reason... Feel free to delete the other comment.
I think it’s sound to be picky about who you follow. I really like your concept of following and supporting those who deserve it the most.
I have a problem with that follow/follow-back thing because it’s not genuine following, and I’m honestly not interested in having followers who just follow because they clicked a button. I prefer followers who actually WANT to follow because they like my blog or want to connect.
That's how I feel, these people who genuinely don't want to follow you, won't ever give you the engagement you want, and therefore, you'll never get where you want to.
I mean I guess the theory is that you follow people, they follow you, and hopefully you'll find someone who interests you, but I don't get the point of these forced follows. I follow new people all the time on social media because they catch my eye, or because a friend mentioned them!
I'm glad everyone who's commented feels the same way!
While I wish I had millions of people reading my content, I definitely want real engagement! thank you so much for reading and commenting 🙂 x
I so agree with this. I hate the whole follow me and I'll follow you vibe that's out there. I really don't want to be scrolling through loads of accounts I don't really like just to see the few that I do! I follow people I like, want to see more of and will engage with and I'd rather people followed me for the same reason!
I'm so glad you agree with me 🙂 I appreciate every single person who follows me, and if they constantly interact, I definitely go out of my way to check out their content. I just can't force myself to follow someone for the sake of following or trying to support. Thank you so much for reading and commenting 🙂 xx
I've included your post in my monthly favourites this month
https://ridiculouslyordinary.wordpress.com/2018/04/27/april-blog-favourites/
I actually got the link to your post in my notifications! Thanks so much for letting me know anyways 😉 xx
I've been thinking a lot about this lately too. My feed is so full of people that I followed back to support that I miss a lot of posts from people that I genuinely want to be seeing in my feed. Even when I turn post notifications on I'm not always able to check out everyone's feeds even though I'd like to.
I've also noticed that I get a lot of followers who never interact with me and I wonder why I'm taking so much time out of my day for people who never interact? I'd rather engage with the accounts that I genuinely feel a connection with. Of course I'd love to build connections and friendships with other bloggers/instagramers but it seems like most accounts see other people as just a number. It's also so so hard to be actively supporting and engaging with people on all my social media platforms, I'm appallingly bad at interacting with people on twitter even though I want to, I just don't have the time to manage every platform.
I think it's alright to unfollow if an account is no longer making you happy when you see their posts, that's a legitimate reason as opposed to unfollowing to gain followers.
I'm so glad you agree with me! I love supportive my girls. I'm really good at getting back to people on my blog, reading posts, and commenting and stuffs. When it comes to other social medias (specially ones that aren't chronological order), it's really tough to keep up with. I want to see people I have a connection with! Bottom line, I love everyone who follows me and I appreciate it more than they'll ever know, but I can't follow every single person back!
I suggest doing a social media cleanse 🙂 x
I think I'm better at getting back to people through WordPress, probably because I'm not following so many people that it's overwhelming! Reading blogs is one of my favourite things and I love that the feed stays chronological! Have you been using Vero much? I got fed up with how slow and glitchy it was 😄
I'm going to think about that! It might be good to do some "spring cleaning". Great post! xx
I follow about 150 people on wordpress? and I usually go through my wordpress stuff first, and then go onto Bloglovin where I follow another 170 or so. It's a lil, tough, but there are so many good bloggers out there, I really try to get through loads of posts in the week.
So, Vero finally fixed all of the glitches, but for right now, it's wayy too many social media pages for me to keep up with! I already have trouble with Instagram, Twitter, and Pintrest!
I'm glad you liked the post. Thanks for reading and commenting Cleia 🙂 xx
That's not bad at all, I think I'm around 250-300 on wordpress. I spend about an hour every day scrolling through, but I enjoy it so it's not a chore or anything 🙂
That's good to hear, I also just couldn't keep up with Vero! I don't know how people have time to manage like 8 accounts at once.
Omg tell me about it, having one of everything is tough, I don't know how some people have more than one of each account!
It's really important to me now to connect with others. I really appreciate the relationships I have with you and other bloggers or people on Instagram specifically, because it adds warmth to the coldness of the online world if that makes sense?
Weird description, but I don't want to continually see no-name people. I added a lot when I first started blogging, only to realise we have absolutely nothing in common. Nothing personal to them - but we were too opposite.
I had one blogger last year, and I swear she wrote posts after me to argue everything I said. Like she was in a secret argument or something.
xxx
lmfaoo, that one sided arguement. Like I am sorry that I have to unfollow you, it's really nothing personal, but I can't follow you to make you feel good about yourself. I have to think about me too.
Like you said, when you connect with people you care about it really helps with the coldness of social media. Thanks for reading and commenting 🙂 x
I completely agree with you and the fact that I haven't thought of this before now is weird for me. I don't like the idea of being forced to follow someone I don't want to follow. I just joined a group and followed everyone but I wonder if it is really worth it. Thanks for sharing this. Great advice to take forward.
I'm all for supporting people who I actually like their content/personality whatever reason you want to follow them, but the idea of feeling forced to follow someone because you'll feel like a bad blogger/youtuber/creative influencer I think it's silly! While I'm all for those threads on twitter about finding other people, I hate the ones that say follow me and everyone else on this thread. It's not realistic for you to actually like each and every one of those people! I'm so glad you agree with me love! Don't ever feel bad for not wanting to follow someone 🙂 x
I’m so happy you wrote this post, because honestly the whole idea of what I like to call “forced support” is annoying and unnecessary.
I used to think I had to follow and support everyone when I first started blogging but I realized that’s not the case. Now I choose to follow who I want and support the people who’s content I actually enjoy and who I actually like. Although supporting all bloggers would be ideal, sometimes you just don’t like what they do, like who they are, or there just isn’t enough time in the day to support everyone, and that’s okay!
Thanks for writing this, because it’s refreshing to see and much needed in the blogging community.
XOA
http://www.alexandraqunlann.com
I love the phrase "forced support"! I actually never thought about it, but that's exactly what it is. EXACTLY, it's not realistic. I don't have the time or mental capacity to follow every single blogger in the world who follows me. I'm glad you enjoyed the post. Thanks for reading and giving such a thoughtful response 🙂 xx
This is a great post and I really relate to what you're saying. I follow lots of different kinds of blogs. Sometimes I have trouble following someone who posts four or five times a day. It feels overwhelming to me.
I'm a lot less picky of who I follow on blogs, because I have the ones I love to read organized and separate from the ones that I like some of their stuff. I also unfollow people who haven't posted in months to give others a chance. It's so simple to get overwhelmed online these days, that we have to put ourselves first and organize ourselves! Thanks for reading and commenting. I'm glad to see you agree with me 🙂 xx
Yes, you said it all perfectly.
This is such an interesting post, Melina! I have to admit that I first thought, just like you did, that I had to follow everyone to support them and be part of the community. Yet, I quickly realized that there are too many people, that I can't keep up with everyone and.... to be honest, I really don't want to, because I'm not genuinely interested in everyone's feed. I want to follow people I want to see and people I really want to engage with. It's also so easy to find ourselves following accounts that are making us anxious or / and feeling bad, I definitely don't want that to happen. I know I need to de-clutter my twitter and instagram feed a little bit, I'm dreading it, but ultimately I know it will be good for me,too 🙂
Thank you so much for writing this !:)
I think the same thing, I tend to have to declutter my twitter feed more often than my instagram feed. I have become much more picky in my instagram feed, which stops me from having to declutter it as often (thank god!) I always dread a declutter and put it off for as long as possible. Thanks so much for reading and commenting Marie xxx
Hi Melina! I agree with your 3 points. Social media almost works in phases and accepting or following someone is just easier and then once there isn’t a connection, then it’s okay to change your mind. Social media is not a one size fits all venue so it’s okay to select based on interest and based on the way we lead our lives. You are on target. 😘
I'm so glad to see you agree with me. Social media is such a tricky thing, and sometimes it feels like there's some type of rules, especially if you want to be accepted in the blogging community.
It's taken me a long time, but I finally realize that there is no right or wrong way to be on social media. Like you said there is no one size fits all! Thanks so much for reading and commenting 🙂 xx
I completely agree with you. I started off following anyone who followed me and also following people to get follows...but my feed was full of posts I was not interested in! I now only follow people who post about things I'm interested in and I can engage with, as well as bloggers I support.
I'm glad you agree with me! I was super nervous when posting this, because I thought people were going to think badly of it. I'm so glad that now I only follow people I actually want to follow. Thanks so much for reading and commenting Sarah 🙂 xx