it's hard to trust, and yet trusting someone is key
I have a problem trusting people. Sharing my deepest thoughts with someone. What would they think about me? Would they judge me? Would they look at me differently? Will they use what I tell them against me? Will they straight up leave without a second look back?
When you're young, it's so easy to open up to people and let them in. You don't even give it a second thought. You assume that these people are going to be in your life forever, and there's no way they could hurt you. As you get older, relationships, regardless of whether their friendships or romantic connections, aren't always going to work out. People judge you for opening up, or, they just betray your trust without thinking twice about it.
While it's hard to trust people, I've come to realize that the way to truly be happy is to allow people in and trust them. Now you may change tactics, and realize that it may not be the best idea to give someone all of your trust right off the bat. It's may be better to hold back a little bit, and let someone prove themselves to slowly gain your trust.
Nowadays, the majority of people have major trust issues. With good reason! It's difficult to build a relationship based on trust, when neither person in the relationship truly allows the other a chance to gain their trust in the first place. And in order to have a healthy relationship, that foundation of trust is necessary.
So what do you do? Do you continue to keep those walls up high in order to protect yourself, thus preventing people from hurting you? This method is good, because you don't end up hurt. In the same breath, you also can never truly build a relationship to it's highest potential. Not only that, but you might ruin the chance with someone who genuinely likes you. Then, the relationships you do end up having will be surface level at best.
The other option you have, is to allow yourself to open up and have faith on the person you're trusting. This is the only way you'll make truly strong emotional connections, but you also put yourself at risk of getting hurt.
Personally, I feel like I'm in between both of these methods. When it comes to dating, I have a hard time opening up about personal things. I fear they'll think less of me or even worse, I'm afraid I'll open up, rely on them, and then they'll drop out of my life without me expecting it. It's happened to me plenty of times before, and has definitely left behind a scar. I'm working on it, I promise.
But trust doesn't only have to do with opening up to people, it's also believing what people tell you. Now this is something I'm terrible about. I believe it has to do with my own insecurities and experiences with past relationships. It difficult to take things at face value, when every time someone tells me they like me, there comes a point where I finally believe them, and it ends up imploding in my face. Every relationship I've every had, except for one has ended terribly. They tell me they like me, or worse, they love me, and then I'm left in shambles, working hard to pick up the pieces again.
I've come a long way in terms of trust. I'm much more willing to open up to people, but it's still a bit difficult to genuinely put my trust in people. I swear I'm trying the best I can!
Trust is a fickle thing.
In the end, even if you've been hurt dozens of times, you have to allow yourself to not lose your faith in people, and believe that it is worth continuing to give people a chance. You will find people that are worth putting your trust in them, and that is a fact.
Always sending you all love, strength, and positivity xx
Great post. Trust is definitely a tricky thing and it's often in childhood and teenage years that we build up that trust wall with people and trickles through into adulthood! I think it's important not too be TOO vulnerable, especially when meeting new people, you need to be sensible. But at the same time, you need to learn to trust otherwise you're never going to let anyone new in!
Agreed, while it's a little tricky finding the balance between protecting yourself and letting people in, it's super important that we find it! Thank you so much for reading and the advice 🙂 x
This is such an important topic. I've had trust issues for years and its definitely affected relationships. I then met someone one day, who I felt an instant connection to and I felt those trust worries melt away. I still get little niggles every now and again though I do feel there is light at the end of the tunnel.
Thank you so much for reading and commenting! This makes me feel much more hopeful about the future. I guess it just takes the right people to earn your trust, and if you don't feel that trust maybe something's not right. Thanks again for the kind and thoughtful words xx
This is a great post about trust. I do have a hard time trusting people sometimes but working on improving that. Thank you for sharing this post.
Lauren - http://www.bournemouthgirl.com
It's hard to trust people, especially nowadays, but we'll get there! Thanks so much for reading and commenting 🙂 x
Definitely agree that it's important not to lose faith in people, it can seriously hinder new relationships and break down old ones. Such a shame it works that was and can be so easily tainted, but great reminders in this post!
Yes, agreed! Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts and for reading 🙂 x
This is such a great post! I'm terrible about trusting people too. I have a select few people I feel comfortable enough to tell anything to.
It's taken my close friends years for me to feel comfortable opening up with them, and so I want to get better at trusting people sooner. Especially when it comes to dating people, I want to trust in the idea that they'll stick around. Thank you so much for reading and commenting :)xx
This is so relatable - I've struggled with trusting people too, but eventually, you'll find people who are trustworthy and they'll help you trust more easily in general.
After reading your post, it gives me hope, and I know that I will be able to opening trust again! Thank you so much for reading and commenting 🙂 x
Trusting people can be something we have to learn, especially after it has been abused or misused -- but as you say, trust is an integral part of any connection or relationship we build. Thanks for this encouragement and motivation -- great post!
Yes, completely agree! It's tricky to learn how to trust someone again, after having so many negative experiences in dealing with trust. Thank you so much for reading and commenting 🙂 xx
I have a theory that the more open you are, the less of a thing it becomes. I've noticed that since blogging, I've shared so many personal things that now it doesn't seem as much of a big deal. Even on first dates, I've opened up a lot - maybe as some sort of defence mechanism where I try to make personal things seem small so if they leave, it won't seem as bad? My real issue is when I begin to believe someone will stick around - I trust they'll be there and then they bail.
Like you, I have some scars from the past where I've been let down. What got me back out was constantly telling myself that there had to be soo many people like me wanting the same thing, and I just had to move past the current people to get to them. xxx
You know what? You're completely right, it's a lot easier to open up to people since starting a blog. I already am able to put my thoughts and feelings to words, and share them with all the people who stumble onto my blog. Even though I've opened up to people about a lot of things, I don't know if I necessarily trust them? Like you said, I feel like I constantly have this fear that they aren't going to stick around. I think the next time I feel that fear, I'm going to tell myself that. You're right, there are a lot of people out there looking for exactly what I'm looking for. Thank you so much for reading, your thoughts, and your advice! xx