Life isn't a Race.
Life isn't a race. I've mentioned this before, but when I was younger, I had my whole life planned out (at least I thought I did?). Those plans weren't very realistic or actually what I would even want for myself at this point in time.
Being in my mid-20's, I find that it's a weird stage in life. Some people are planning to visit colleges, some are finishing their master degrees, some are on the lookout for a new job, while others are already working at their dream job! Some are engaged/ have a serious significant other, some have kids, while others don't have either. Some people are renting apartments, some people have bought their first home, while some still live with their parents. The point I'm trying to make is that when you're in your 20's everyone is in a different point in their lives.
At times, it's kind of hard not to compare yourself to others. You look at all the success they're having, and wonder why your life isn't going the same way. What people tend to forget is that life isn't a race. There is no set time period for you to do certain things.
If you still live with your parents at 26, it's fine! If you don't have kids before hitting 30, it's really okay. If you haven't gotten your dream job before 35, that doesn't mean you're a failure. (I don't know where these numbers are coming from, but they're totally just examples! Even if you're older than these ages, and you've still haven't reached your milestones, it doesn't mean that you're failing at life.)
Back in the day, you would lose track of people and not know what they were doing with their lives (with the exception of those 10 year high school reunions). Now, in the time of social media, you are constantly seeing everyone's highlight reels (I wrote a post about that here). Oh look, Sarah's working in New York City. Michelle's just got engaged and she's traveling Europe for the next 8 months. Cindy just bought her first home! The list goes on and on with the names of people that seem like they're achieving more with their lives. You know exactly what most people are doing with their lives, and it can make it much more difficult for you to life your life without comparing yourself to others and feeling unsuccessful.
Why do we do this to ourselves?
You're supposed to use your 20's to figure out who you are, what you want and don't want. Easier said than done, but stop comparing yourself to others. I promise you're doing just fine.
-Melina xx
This is so important for us to know and be reminded of, so thank you for this reminder!!! I needed to read this today 🙂
You're very welcome! I didn't expect to have so many people who resonated with this post, and felt like they needed to hear this just as much as I needed to write it down and get it off my chest. Thank you so so much for reading and for commenting xx
Well said! We're always so hard on ourselves, sometimes you need to really put things in to context. The lives we're living are longer, so our careers will be longer, they'll change more.. there are so many more opportunities for our generation, we just need to be okay to try a few and be flexible. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
That's true too, and something I never considered! Since we are living longer, it's so much easier for things to change. Like you said, we need to learn to allow ourselves to be flexible. Thank you so much for reading and commenting 🙂 x
This is so important! Thank you for this reminder. - The Style Wright
I'm glad you agree with me! Thank you so much for reading and commenting 🙂 x
I'm 34 and my wife is 37 and we just got married and had our first kid. Plenty of time for everything!
You're living proof that life isn't a race! Congrats on your marriage and the birth of your first child! Thank you so much for reading and sharing 🙂 x
Sometimes it’s really difficult not to compare yourself to others, I think we’re wired that way to some extent. Especially with social media now, it’s even easier to do. Still, we really don’t know what happens behind closed doors and it can be really easy to assume that everyone has it together except us. Secret tip: they’re just as lost as you are.
You're right! Sometimes it does feel that way, we're wired to try to do better and compare yourself those who are doing better than you are. I love that lil' fact, and you're probably right, there are very few people who are actually as put together as they come across. Thank you for reading and your thoughtful comment 🙂 xxx
This is great. Yes life isn't a race and you're right you can not compare yourself to anyone else. Everyone moves to the beat of their own drum. How boring would life be if we all beat to the same drum.
While it's extremely difficult to not compare yourself, like you said, everyone moves to the beat of their own drum, and so we can't compare ourselves if we're moving to different beats! Thank you so much for reading and commenting 🙂 x
This was great to hear! Sometimes in the south with Ring by Spring it can be hard to be content with where you are. But everyone's life progresses differently and no one way is perfect!
I'm glad you enjoyed reading this post! Thank you so much for reading and commenting 🙂 xx
I am in my mid-40s now. I remember my mid-20s as the time I decided I just wanted to have fun and wait on the "life achievements". I'm glad to see someone else not letting others define what to do next. Life isn't a race. It's a course of decisions and it's a heck of an interesting journey.
While I"m definitely trying to reach some life achievements, I'm definitely not letting others define what I want to do next. Thank you so much for reading and for your thoughtful comment 🙂 xx
Thank you for adding in the "Even if you're older than these ages and haven't reached your milestones" part. I feel older than the sea itself, still don't feel like I have it together, and I probably never will. I never sold out but seem to have partially lucked my way through life this far anyway. The main thing I've regretted is never having children. It would have been nice to have a daughter, but I guess I should count myself as lucky. Many things could have turned out way worse. Suddenly I feel better about not going to any of those those high-school reunions etc.. I guess It's better not doing comparisons. I'm pretty sure my mold was broken anyway.
Of course when I write posts, they're from my eyes, and my perspective, but in reality this post reflects everyone's lives. I wanted to make sure I didn't single anyone out just because I am speaking from my experience and my thoughts. I'm glad to hear that you have lucked your way through life! Just know that while you regret not having kids (it's technically never too late!), maybe look into adoption? Just a suggestion.
You are so right, it's better not to compare yourself. Sometimes comparisons help motivate you, but in most cases, it can be extremely toxic! As always, thank you for reading and your thoughtful comment! xx
Oh Melina, you always manage to write the posts I need to read when I need to read them, thank you so much for that. <3 You're so right that, with social media and everything, we know exactly what people are up to and how our former high school friends are now engaged, married, with kids, on an adventure, getting a house or something while I am nowhere near landing that dream job or something. It is so easy to compare ourselves to others and to feel like we are losing that race.It's not a race at all though and everyone has their own rhythm and growth in their lives, we are all onto different paths and hopefully they will all bring us what we want in the end, even if they're not timed like others are 🙂
Thank you so much for sharing this positive post <3 <3
I'm so glad this post spoke to you so much! I usually write posts about things that have been crossing my mind recently, so I'm glad I'm not the only one who has semi-worrying and comparing myself to others and their lives. I'm so glad that you agree with me and the conclusion I came to! Thank you so so much for always reading, and supporting my posts. Also, Thank you for your thoughtful comments! xxx
Of course Melina, stopping by your blog and reading your posts always make my day a bit better and brighter, it's a pleasure! <3 <3
I couldn't agree more with everything!! I know people who are 50+ and just starting to pursue the things they're truly passionate about. The timeline is going to be different for everyone and many people have multiple purposes throughout their lives anyway. Also, there are SO many people who are incredibly successful in their 20s only to lose that success later in life so worrying about any other person's journey but our own is completely pointless. While life isn't a race, I think you're definitely on the right track. 🙂 Another great, insightful post! xx
I never thought about it that way either, but you are so right, there are people who find success young and lose it when they're older, and vice versa! Thank you so much Nicky, I'm glad to hear you think I'm on the right track 🙂 Thank you for reading and your thoughtful comment xx
I absolutely love the message behind this post, and the way you have written it. One of my new favourites from you.
I know so many people who throughout their entire twenties, looked unsuccessful - bad job, no money etc. But in their thirties, they have overtook most people they knew and now do well for themselves. Even looking at Hollywood, there are actors and actresses who get their big break in their thirties and fourties, and suddenly become millionaires.
The 20's pressure is alot and I'm 26 next week, so I've been going over it all. This post came at the EXACT right time, so thank you!! xxx
Lmfaoo, I'm so glad you enjoyed reading this! I turned 24 last month (almost two months ago), and one of my friends were sitting down feeling a little underachieved in our lives, which led us to realize that it couldn't be further from the truth! Thanks for reading and your thoughtful response. I'm glad it came as the perfect time 🙂 x
Great post, you make so many great points here. What’s been your favorite part of blogging?
There are so many amazing things about blogging. I have made so many amazing friends, which I would have never met had I never blogged! I also love being able to express myself in a way I was never being able to do so! The list goes on and on. Thank you so much for reading and commenting 🙂 xx