so I've been gone...
I didn't expect to be gone for all of February. It kind of just happened...
Well, that's not completely true. I was working with terrible writer's block, and overall just feeling uninspired. Then, my mental health hit rock bottom.
There's been lots of lows throughout this entire pandemic, but almost hitting the one year mark, has been extremely difficult. I'm not sleeping, my appetite has been at an all time low, and I am constantly feeling overwhelmed.
I'm still feeling all of the things mentioned above, but my mood has improved a bit. I think it's cause of the changing of the temperatures. The snow is melting, and we've had quite a lot of sunny days in the past week or so.
While my writer's block is still not better, I have missed you all!
When I didn't post for the first week, I didn't feel anything. I knew that I needed the break and some time to recharge. Then when the second and third week of silence followed, I felt immense guilt.
I know I shouldn't feel guilty for not posting. I have to put myself first, and do what's best for me at the end of the day. But still, it's tough to not feel guilty when I've almost consistently posted 2-3 times a week for 4 years now. It's so habitual to write some blog posts and chatting with you all throughout the week. This lil' corner of the internet has become an incredibly special space for me.
Since taking the time away, my mood has improved, and for the first time in a while I'm feeling hopeful. Hopeful to my life returning to a new, but better normal. They have finally announced that I will be eligible to sign up to receive vaccinations on March 25th, which feels like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
The idea of being able to live my life without constant worry (in terms of covid), it such a relief. As someone who has anxiety, I already have a non-stop stream of thoughts. Adding Covid thoughts to the mix has been overwhelming.
For the first time in a long time, I feel a lil' freer. And that makes all the difference.
I'm so sorry it's been tough for you lately, I'm really happy to hear that your mood has improved a little bit in the past few weeks and I hope this goes on and on. I get that overwhelming feeling too, especially lately. I'm sending you all the love and light and take care of yourself always <3
Thank you so much for the super kind message, I thought things were uphill from the moment I wrote this post, but I could not be more wrong. I hope you're doing well, and things are looking uphill for you! xx
As soon as you mentioned 'writer's block' I immediately thought of the character Jane Gloriana Villanueva in the show 'Jane the Virgin' (I've been re-watching it on NetFlix recently). 😀
It's great news that your mood has improved, that the snow is melting, Spring is coming, and that vaccinations should be getting more available.
Best wishes for conquering anxiety and for a healthy, successful and happy Spring and year!!! xx
Can you believe that I've actually never watched this show before? Two of my close friends were obsessed with the show a while back, so I know I have to give it a try eventually! Hope you're doing well xx
My mood has been all over the place since covid. Some days I'm so positive while other days I feel really sluggish and suddenly everything seems like a chore. I'm glad you're more hopeful now and that your vaccine has been booked.
It's amazing you've stuck to the same amount of blog posts consistently each month! With writer's block, I think just typing (even if you don't like how it sounds) can be a good way to break out of it. Also looking for a new podcast or show to watch can be good for inspiration. xx
You're so right, it was so difficult to write that post, but the moment I did, I got inspired to already start writing my post for friday! Thanks so much for reading and commenting. I hope your mood starts consistently improving as we get closer to the warmer months xxx