The Truth about Alzheimer's.
If you guys have been here since the beginning of my blog, you would know that my grandma has Alzheimer's. I usually speak extremely lightly of it. I don't really like making people feel uncomfortable about it when I bring it up. I mean what can they say, "I'm sorry her brain is basically destroying itself to the point of no return?". A bit morbid, I know.
It's crazy to think that the person who's raised me and my siblings, who's been there for every birthday, graduation, religious celebration, Christmas, Halloween, is no longer the person who did all those things with me.
It's odd to think that the person who has had such an influence in my life, isn't there anymore. When I talk to her, I don't know how she's going to act. There are some days that are way better than others, but at the end of the day, she is no longer the woman who spent her life trying to care for her family and giving them the best she can.
People don't realize how hard it is to patiently have a conversation with someone who has Alzheimer's. The amount of times you have to repeat yourself. The amount of times they repeat the same statements and questions. It makes you feel like a terrible person for not having the patience to deal with it for very long.
I do still try to take her out at least once a week, but it's honestly not the same. She is but a shell of her former self.
The one thing she will never forget is the past. She might not remember what she was doing five minutes ago, but she will not forget how she used to take care of me.
It always breaks my heart when she feels neglected, even though we had went to see her just the day before. I hate when she says "you guys never come and see me", even though I took her out to lunch about 5 days ago.
I can't even begin to imagine how she feels. Does she always feel confused? Are there blank spaces in her memory or does she not even have a memory anymore? Does her brain try to fill in the blanks as to what is reality.
I really don't know where this ramble is leading to. This is more of a tribute to her and this moment in all of our lives. She wasn't perfect, but she was an amazing grandmother. She would always try to make us look our best in her eyes and fed us amazing dishes.
I probably don't show her as much appreciation as I should, but I'm not the most affectionate of people. When I'm afraid of getting hurt, I just shut people out. Seeing the "person" she is now hurts. That's the honest truth. I remember how she used to tell funny inappropriate jokes. I remember how she used to have an amazing taste in clothing. Her hair always looked immaculate. She was always ready to greet us with a kiss and a hug.
All I say to those of you reading, is to not take the people you love for granted. You are so blessed to be surrounded by people who love and care for you. Don't forget to show them love and affection. Take the time to call them and see how they're doing or even just shoot them a text. Take your mother, father, sister or brother out to lunch. Don't forget to tell people you love them. You don't know what the future holds. I sure didn't.
Sending each and every one of you love and positivity.
-Melina xxx
Like so many others, I also had a family member who had Alzheimer's. It really is heartbreaking and so sad to watch but its comforting to know that lots of people understand. Its only now that I have realised that its so important to appreciate the people we love. Thank you for being so brave sharing your experience, lovely ❤️
Thank you so much for reading what I have to say and for commenting such a lovely message xx
Melina, I loved this post because my grandad is suffering from alzheimers also. I was nice to here someone talk about the things I think about all the time. My grandad isnt that severe yet but hes still a different man and just want to let you know you're not alone and I'm always here lovely xxxx
Thank you so much for the kind words Em! I'm sorry to hear that you are dealing with something like this within your family! Thanks for reading, and I am always here for you if you need me xxx
My mom passed away in 2014, and I swear it feels like Yesterday! Nothing breaks your heart more, than calling your mom, as always and asking her if she knows who this is, and your mom saying, nope I sure don't. I cried for the rest of the day.
I am so sorry for your loss. I can completely relate when it comes to the troubles of loved ones with Alzheimers. Thank you so much for reading and sharing your experiences xxx
Touched my heart deeply. .
Thank you so much for reading and commenting Michael xxx
My grandmother had Alzheimer too. Such great and inspiring post. Stay strong. THanks for sharing it with us.
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Thank you for reading Sara ! I'll deff check your blog out xx
Thank you!:) Have a nice day!
Thank you! You too love xxx
I understand what your going through my grandad had Alzheimer's and it's so horrible to watch the person you once knew fade away and to have no control over anything. It's a horrible disease, I'm doing a memory walk in September to raise money for the Alzheimer's Society. I really hope they can find a cure, it's too late for some people but it would mean that it could help generations to come. xx
That's so great for you to walk in order to raise money! I might actually see if there's one close by to me, so I can do the same thing. I am extremely hopeful that medicine will progress enough so that there will find a cure soon. I'm sorry about your grandfather. Thank you so much for the kind words love xxx
Thanks so much for sharing this heartbreaking situation. I cannot imagine having someone that close to me start to drift away like that. I had grand uncle who had a similar condition that I believe was Alzheimer's but he passed before I was born. I remember hearing stories. It's tough to imagine how confusing it must be for them at times. I'm glad you have such positive memories of her though, she sounds like a lovely woman. Hang in there!! Xx Jen
Thanks for your kind words Jen! It's been a tough situation for sure, but we make the best of a rough situation. Xxx
I know it is such a cliche, but I am truly sorry. I also know that it is easy to say, but you should not feel guilty or worry about how much you appreciate her, as I am sure that she is aware.
My grandma had schizophrenia. As it progressed, I stopped seeing her because my dad was worried about whether she would remember or recognise me. The night before she died, she wrote on a piece of paper, who she would like to inherit her money. It is not the money that I cared about, but the fact that she remembered us. It gives me comfort to think that she had some awareness.
I wish your grandma all the best and I agree that we need to appreciate people more. Xxx
Thank you so much for the kind words Lauzie. I'm so sorry to hear that you also had a family member who had a mental health issue. I'm so glad to hear that even at the end of her life she recognized you. I can only imagine how much that meant to you. Thank you for reading xxx