we are so hard on ourselves.
Why are we so hard on ourselves? We are patient and kind when it comes to our friends and family, but the moment we are having trouble with anything, or, god forbid, something we create is less than perfect, we could be borderline cruel to ourselves. Is it because we know ourselves best, and expect perfection? Or maybe is it because we know ourselves best, and so we know every single imperfection and flaw we may have.
I can definitely say that I'm not the nicest to myself at times. Not only do I constantly doubt my abilities, but there are times where I'm particularly mean to myself. Last week, something happened to me that was and still is extremely difficult to wrap my mind around.
Since that moment, I've been extremely hard on myself. Thinking of myself as this terrible person who showed their true colors last week. It took more than a few days to get out of my funk, but I finally came to the conclusion...I am not that person. I did not deserve what happened to me.
I've written about this a few times, but sometimes it's so hard to get out of my head's version of who I am vs the "real" version of who I am. Especially after traumatic moments in my life.
I go through phases of grief. At first, all I can think of is "why me", or "what did I do to deserve this". Then I accept what's happening to me and have thoughts that are similar to, "why wasn't I good enough" or "am I too much?" or even worse like "what's wrong with me" or "am I a terrible person".
While it has taken a whole week of going through those thought processes, I finally have reached the light, and know the truth. I am definitely not a bad person. I try very hard to be a good person and to be kind to everyone around me. I am not perfect, but that's okay.
What happened to me is just life, and I am strong enough to get through it. I am hardworking, smart, and deserving of all the good in my life.
It's so simple to overlook, forgive, and see the best in those closest to you and those you love. Why can't I do the same for myself?
When I was younger, it would take me so much longer to see the best in myself, but as I've gotten older, I realize that the one person you should be rooting for the most, is yourself. I know I'm trying my best to be the best version of me I can be, and that's all I can be. I am constantly changing, evolving, and improving myself.
It's hard to allow myself to forgive and heal, but I'm really trying. It's taken me 24 (almost 25) years to be kinder to myself, but I'm getting there! I know with time, I will continue to improve, and reach a point of self-actualization.
Are you hard on yourself? Are you less hard on others? If so, why do you think that is? If not, show me your ways! Leave a comment down below on your thoughts on this. As always, thank you so much for reading and commenting. Sending you love, strength, and positivity always.
Those photos are GORGEOUS!!!! I can't even lol!!! I totally agree with you. Why are we are own worst critics??? You'd think we would root for ourselves but it's just not the case sadly.
I think since we just know our whole selves, it's so much easier to judge our good with our bad. With other people we only see the bit they show us, and so we tend to see the good in them! I'm working towards being kinder to myself, and I hope you're on that journey too! thank you so much for reading and commenting 🙂 xx
Oh Melina I love this post. I can relate to it all, too, so badly even if I wish I didn't ahah. I'm always so, so much harder on myself than I am on other people and I don't know why I keep on expecting so much more of myself than of others. I'm really trying to be kinder on myself this year and, even if I'm not always successful, I guess it's a slow process. Getting there, you'll get there too. You're amazing and so inspiring. x
I'm trying to be kinder to myself too, and while it's extremely hard, i can definitely say that I've been improving. We'll get there together. Thank you so much Marie 🙂 xx
I think I'm hard on myself but I'm getting better at letting things go. We all make mistakes and it's good to try to be forgiving of ourselves the way we would of others! I'm still learning x
Ahh I love this. I reckon I am hardest on myself because unlike others, I know the good and bad in me, and I think I deserve to feel and be treated that way. Obviously that's not true, no one is perfect, but the way other paint themselves out to be, make you feel like you aren't as good as person. In reality however you never know absolutely everything about one person. xx
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That's such a good way to think about it. Who knows us more than we know ourselves. Not only that, but there are people we will never know completely. We are constantly changing, and so we are constantly getting to know them. Thank you so much for reading and commenting love 🙂 x