When you're no longer interested.

Why is it that the moment you move on, and are no longer interested in someone, they decide they want to reach out again? It's like they have a 6th sense. The power to know when someone is not longer interested in them. That's the moment they want to reach out.

It's odd.

It's happened more times than I can count over the years. And I honestly don't get it.

Why don't you want me when I'm interested in you and showing you attention? Why can't you realize a good thing when you have it? Did it take you this long to realize you miss me?

Why do you only miss me after time has passed? Are you creeping on my Instagram? Or maybe you spoke to someone who still has direct contact to me? Now you're realizing I'm perfectly fine without you.

Or maybe it's a power thing.

You like knowing you have a hold on someone, and so the moment they slip through your fingers, you try to get your grip on them again.

I had this one ex, who throughout the years would sporadically reach out and message me. I had stopped answering around a year after we broke up, so I never understood why he continued to contact me. Was he hoping that I responded one day? Was he thinking of me, and decided to message me (even though we didn't end on the best of terms in the first place?). He finally stopped messaging me...5 years after we had broken up.

I notice this seems to happen most often when you start dating again. You're talking to someone who genuinely likes and appreciates you for the person you are, and again, it's like they sense this.

By this point it's too late. If I'm dating someone who I really like, and they're treating me well, why would I go back to someone who didn't care enough in the first place? Why can't they leave me in peace?

The last time I've heard from someone was early on into dating J, and it was strange, because they messaged me about three months after we had last had a conversation. After I didn't respond, they reached out to me again a month later.

Again, what did they think was going to happen? He had no desire to put in any effort while we were dating, and when I told him so, he kind of shrugged it off. Which I ended up telling him that since he didn't want to put in more effort, it wasn't going to work out.

Did he change his mind? Did he realize that there weren't better fish in the sea?

It's interesting to note that this has happened to me on and off since I've started dating, and it always strikes me as strange. The moment I realize I'm better off without them and move on is the moment they reach out. Every time.

Luckily, I haven't had an instance like this happen in quite a while, and I think I prefer it this way. I'm happy in my life, and don't really have any desire to hear back from any of the people I've dated in my past.

**please note this was a post I started writing Jan. of 2022**