why do I still feel this way?
It's been two years. Two years since the pandemic started, and I still am feeling the aftermath of it. The pandemic left me with a sense of burnout that I have not been able to completely shake off.
I still feel easily overwhelmed and exhausted. My personal battery drains much faster than it used to. I've been staring off into space for the past 15 minutes, and while I want to continue writing, it's also the last thing I want to do.
I've been trying to be kinder to myself, because what we went through was challenging and difficult in multiple different ways. But I continue to ask myself, when am I going to get over this?
How do I overcome what I'm feeling?
I was listening to a podcast earlier today, and two of the people chatting on it were mentioning similar feelings. This extreme burnout that they've had since the pandemic started two years ago. They mentioned the fact that they have less energy to consume online content, which I can completely relate to. It was really comforting to listen to other people talk about feelings very similar to what I'm feeling.
I felt like something was wrong with me. I feel like most people have gone on with their lives as if nothing happened, and I'm stuck with very little motivation to do things I used to love doing.
I still love watching Youtube videos, but the type of videos I watch are completely different from what I enjoyed watching 2 years ago. I have been having the urge to start up my Youtube channel again so I can chat all things books, and whatever else interests me, but the moment I get home from work, it's the last thing I want to do.
I've been wanting to learn how to draw, so I was planning on watching online classes. Yet again, I feel so drained, and don't want to follow through and actually do it.
On the bright side, I have fallen back in love with reading in the past few months. It is something I've been grateful for. There was a point where I didn't even want to do that.
I expected that when things got back to normal, I would start to feel more normal. The truth is, sometimes I do. Most of the time though, I feel worn out. If I have too busy of a week, I feel the effects of it the week afterwards. I used to need 1-2 days of mental rest in order to feel back to normal, but now it's more like 3-5 days.
The problem is that I don't know how to make myself feel better. I hope that with time, it'll just recorrect itself. In the meantime, I'm going to do the best I can to cope.
And I hope you guys will stick around with my erratic posting schedule. xx
Before lockdown, my work involved meeting up with clients regularly and travelling around London. My job now is mostly home-based which I think is making me feel much more anxious.
One thing that helps me is trying to make my anxious thoughts seem as ridiculous as possible. I'll tell myself how I would simply move on even if such and such happened, which is highly unlikely. I recently had hypnotherapy and NLP (one session each) which has also made a difference.
I feel there is pressure post-pandemic to have all these goals and plans to constantly focus on. I read a great article recently which spoke about how people are giving up "girlboss expectations" and prioritising wellbeing instead. xx
What is NLP? Maybe that’s what the issue is? The pressure post-pandemic? I’ve been trying hard to prioritize my wellbeing. The problem is, that I sometimes feel like there isn’t enough time for the amount of time I think I need. Hopefully it passes soon, and I’m back to feeling better!
You're definitely not alone in feeling like this Melina. I think since the return to faux-normality, introverts and homebodies have turned even further in themselves, I know I have. You're completely valid to feel the tiredness and burnout, we went through something really huge and rough! Thanks for being so open in this post x
I’m glad I’m not the only one. I feel like I see so many people reverting to normal, and still doing so much. I know not everyone is so open about what’s going on in their lives, but social media makes it so easy to feel like you’re the only one who’s not feeling the best. Thanks so much for reading and commenting 🙂 x
I think there are plenty of people feeling this way. It has been a really awful time for everyone. Don’t feel bad about still feeling the burn out. I had covid a couple of months ago and I am still suffering. I just think it is an experience with covid and the pandemic that will continue to shape us all. Thank you for sharing this honest and open post.
Lauren.
Thank you so much for reading and sharing your experience during this time 🙂 x
This is seriously the most relatable post I've read in a while... I too feel an intense level of fatigue I haven't been able to shake off properly in the last few years. It felt so odd to me who was once the embodiment of energetic to be chasing afternoon naps like they are the only thing allowing me to get through the day and be productive.
A blood test did indicate I am low on vitamin D, which can cause fatigue, although I'm unsure that explains it all...
Anyways, I hope you don't feel alone in this. The pandemic did throw our lives off course and many of us are still doing what we can to pick up the pieces still.
https://rachylewis.com
I've been taking vitamin D pills, and they actually help a lot, so I would definitely recommend looking into them. Thank so you much for reading and your kind words 🙂 x