Why do us girls follow relationship rules?
Ever since I was old enough to read Seventeen magazine, I read all about the tips and tricks in order to have a successful relationship. "How to get the guy of your dream", "Tips and Tricks to Make a Boy Like You", "5 Things Not to do, so You Don't Scare Him Off!". Yes, these are actual titles of magazines articles that I found while flipping through old magazines.
Why do we do this to ourselves? Why are there so many rules in order to make a boy interested? Then after he's interested, there's rules to keep him interested. I was looking through some men's magazines, and their article titles were completely different. It's more like "7 compliments women love to hear". I don't actually own any men's magazines, so I was definitely limited in article titles.
Women's magazines sell the idea of women changing themselves in order to get the guy of their dreams. While men's magazines tend to focus on....manipulation? Saying charming things and other things women want to here in order to get them.
Why do women have to follow all these rules in order to have a happy relationship? Can't we just...be ourselves?
Then, once we've happily started dating someone, you then have to worry about moving too fast or moving too slow. Can't we just move at the pace we feel most comfortable in?
There's this pressure to move at the pace that the man is most comfortable with. If you move too slow, you're supposed to worry about boring a guy, while if you move too fast, you might have scared him off.
Now, I'm here to tell you that enough is enough. All these dating rules are beyond silly. Most of them hold no actual merit! You should do whatever feels right in your relationship. That's the thing isn't it, there's so much pressure to conform to what everyone else expects out of you and your relationship, that most of us forget, that it is our relationship.
So if you don't want to wait three days before seeing him again, go ahead and message him. If you want extra time to process your first date and see him in two weeks, go and do that! If he doesn't stick around for whatever you do, you need to realize he just wasn't the one meant for you. It wasn't meant to be. I promise you, you'll find someone who fully deserves you for who you are. Not for whoever a magazine wants you to be.
Remember, there is actually no right or wrong answer on how to behave. Just like there is no other you than you, a magazine can't make a generalization and assume what's going to work for you, even if it's worked for other people before.
Just some thoughts that have been going through my head recently. What are your thoughts on dating and the rules that we're supposed to be following? Let me know in the comments down below! As always, thank you so much for reading. I hope you're having a wonderful day/night! Sending you love, strength, and positivity.
-Melina xxx
Great post! I find all these games you have to play in order to get a guy/girl attention so silly. If two people like each other, it should be simple. The fact that these magazines sell these ideas of girls having to act a certain way and guys manipulating women to get their attention needs to stop! xx
https://beaulife.org
I'm glad you agree with me! It's extremely frustrating to see that what magazines are selling to girls haven't changed in the slightest since I was in middle school (in over 10 years). It's a little ridiculous, especially with all the positive changes that gender equality has taken. Thank you for reading and commenting 🙂
You have brought up such an interesting issue in your post. Its an obvious problem the difference in genders, whether that's how we are treated or spoken to in everyday life. And its so insightful that you have wrote about dating, more specifically what we read in magazines. It totally should just be about what works for you at the time. Its almost as though we're going to reach a point where we should be carrying around an instruction manual on dating. Thanks for raising such a good topic for discussion! x
Thank you so much for reading and such a thoughtful comment! xx
I used to love reading Seventeen magazine, it's complete poop now. The relationship articles were funny to read, as for men's articles I haven't really read any. I think men focus more on YouTube videos now, as I've learned from my boyfriend,but nothing offensive in the ones I've seen from my close friends watching. Have you watched any of Matthew Hussey's videos on YouTube? I love his advice and learned about his channel through my boyfriend.
Deanna from deannastilwell.com 🙂
I haven't read any Seventeen magazine in years, but i'm kinda sad to hear it isn't good anymore! I have never heard of Matthew Hussey, so I'm actually going to check him out right now! Thanks so much for reading and for the recommendation 🙂 xxx
Yeah seventeen is complete trash right now you can see it on their website. Lemme know what you think of the channel! 😊
I definitely will! 🙂 xxx
Fantastic post and yes to all the points! It seems like in our society all the rules are only for us girls. Why is that? Why the society is so male-oriented? I hate when we have to follow certain things in order to make the man happy. We are as much as free as they are and it is the responsibility of both the persons in a relationship to act and respect each other equally.
Wonderful post!
While things are changing, rules are still instilled into us from a very young age. While there are differences between boys and girls, I don't think it's fair to change how someone should act while dating according to your gender. Thank you so much for reading and your thoughtful comment 🙂 xxx
Ugh yes yes yes yes yes yes yes to this post. When I was younger, all of these magazine titles and recommendations and pretended rules just stressed me out and made me feel more confused about everything. I do admit that, when I am curious, I still give these kind of articles a read, just to see what they write, but I'm not really following them or thinking much of them now at all. I completely agree that in a relationship, it's our relationship and it's important to follow our guts and do what feels right, and to be ourselves, too, because that's what matters the most: being with someone who knows what we are really like and loves us perfectly for that, too 🙂
Wonderful post! <3
I can totally relate! While I don't really follow the rules, I definitely get a weird guilty pleasure from reading the dating columns of magazines.
Thank you so much for reading and your thoughtful comment! xxx
What an amazing post - I feel you totally in this girl. I have never understood the rules and regulations people seem to come up with in relationships. You do you, and if it doesn't work out then it doesn't. But wouldn't you prefer to know you we're being you the whole time?!
Kayla | http://www.kaylajayne.co.uk
xo
Thank you so much! Exactly, I'm not saying that everyone's going to like you if you're yourself, butt if they do like you, at least they actually like you for you! thank you so much for reading and commenting Kayla 🙂 xxx
Girl yassss! I knew I would love this article when I saw the title! I always joke I am the dude in the relationship, because according to all the dating mags and rues that is how I "act." In reality I am just being myself. And that is all we should be. I feel like all this "advice" causes more dram and confusion then if we were just true to ourselves. Thanks so much for sharing this! <3
I'm the same exact way! I just act like myself. Recently people have been judging the way I act in a relationship because I'm not following the "rules". It really annoyed me, because that's definitely not how it should be. We should just do whatever feels right for us and our relationship! Thank you so much for reading and commenting 🙂 xxx